This last few days have all been about realization and understanding my own self. I had absolutely no idea what was inside of me, until I started digging inside. I am so grateful for such knowledgeable and loving people to help me get through it. I always believed that emotions affect us so much in everything, but now that I am actually UNDERSTANDING and realizing what I am experiencing, it is just shocking. I feel so grateful to the Lord for making me realize and understand this all in such a loving way.
I had a few hard days figuring out what was going on with me - body and emotions - and finally, today, with the help from Rachel, I think I found the "switch". It is amazing too how much my own state of being affects my children. During the last couple of days I was really emotional, more reactive, etc - in other words, completely dis- balanced. And my kids, end especially my son, was very unsettled, unhappy, kind of don't-know-what-to-do-with-myself person. Today, just after 1 hours , he completely changed. Shockingly. As if he went from being in some sort of fog to complete life again. That really made me think and realize , that all those times, when kids misbehave, it is , probably, 99, of not 100% my own fault and problem. Their little spirits are so tender and pure , they can connect and feel and understand us so much better then we can understand ourselves. And the misbehavior is nothing more then reflexion of our own emotional state. I started to go through my memory of mis-haps that we had, etc, etc, and so far my theory is 100% confirmed. I noticed how much more willing to listen my kids are when I am calm and balanced inside, and I can't point out a single time when they disagreed with me, even though I did not always allowed them to have/do what they wanted. Yet, every single time when I am not "there" all the way, they " seem to do everything to drive me crazy", which, as I realized today is nothing more but my own energy radiating on them. So, who is there to blame , but myself?
We truly create our own reality, and we truly can change the world if we change ourselves first.