I am feeling nostalgic. I feel complete living among russian and ukrainian diasporas, and it is no wonder that my memories, hidden deeply in the back of my mind, are waking up now, bringing , again, the color back to life.
I look back at the last decade, and wonder, how is it that I did not notice that the most precious to me memories were melting away, silently. I still don't know...
So, today, when the sun hit it's high and the playground became ubber-ly hot to the point of "put-eggs-on-the-slide-not-the-baby" kind of hot, I took my little squirmy to the sand box. There is something magical about the sand when you are one ( or two, or three...). I watched little ones' fascination with the grains running through the little fingers, and couldn't help but tearfully smile , remembering the warmth on the sun, kind caressing of the water, and countless sea-shells. My childhood. It seems it was just yesterday my dad and I built sand castles. And today, i am building one for MY daughter.
Every year , growing up, my parents would get 10 days to 2 weeks, and take my sister and I out to the sea shore ( read "really nice ocean beaches" if you haven't been to the sea. The difference , really, is that the sea CONNECTS to the ocean. And there are a whole lot less sharks around , although the water is very warm ). We would usually go to the Crimea. For the duration of the time we would do NOTHING but lay in the sun ( don't worry , the PROPER times : before 11 and after 4. the other times we were under the tent), or for the kids (aka us) literally, LIVED in the water. The beaches were open 24 hours, and as I grew older, my memories were created from the beautiful sunrise from behind the mountain. The stillness - near mirror like - of the sea. The warmth of the water. The beauty of mother Nature. Best friendships were created with the guitar songs and midnight swims on the moon lit beach, with the sand cool and the moonlight path trembling on black, calm waters. This is something that is engraved in my heart. Forever.
I want my children to create such memories. I want them to remember me just the way I remember my parents. I want them to look back and to WANT to be the same - not in identical way, but in the way of LOVING their children, just as they are loved now.
Someone told me recently, that giving just love is not enough. I thought about it... and disagree. Love - true, unconditional, complete , God-created love, knows no fear, has no limits, is complete and can conquer anything. Love - or lack of thereof - is what saves or destroys.
I want a vacation. Any idea where we should go?
PS Day 6 is marked by fabulous green market steal : young broccoli florets, spring garlic, first spinach and radishes, and of course, aromatic strawberries and cherries for desert.