There isn't much of the insta-life pictures to post today, but the captures are quite accurate as to what our last week has revolved around. The school is coming up on Monday - how is it that the summer has disappeared into nowhere with my list of things to do only marked to about 30% down? I already know that I am the one going to have waaaaay more summer withdrawals then any of my "schoolers". I love having my kids at home. Though it can surely get crazy really fast and I definitely need "my" quiet time at night, when school starts I feel like a part of me just disappears for half a day along with their little backpacks and lunch boxes.
So I cleared the schedule for this entire week from meetings and work ( no worries - though no class, i still got my barre work in. comes "built in" with my morning routine now), and just let them book my days as they saw fit. We've hit a lot of playgrounds, ice-cream stands and cafes ,read, probably, every book we own ( and that alone is record breaking), traveled a little out of our typical revolving areas by TRAIN ( that's a big deal nowadays, you know. just me and five of them. i was nervous, though there was absolutely no need - scoot and mycarrier made it very easy. but more on that later) colored and painted and just talked.
I may or may not have shed some ( or a lot of) tears in the evening when looking at my suddenly all grown up older children, and then some more when gifted with those first , but very conscious smiles from the littlest one. Life sure be difficult at times, but these sweet moments are just that much more meaningful when you taste a grain of salt, and what is life without contrasts, right?
^^ preparing your body for performances is tough. having a baby is tough on your body. combined together for the fifth time... sometimes sends me into depression. i am realizing that my 'stage' days may not last for much longer. and in all honesty, it is difficult. it is only now that for the first time i am starting to find fulfillment in helping to prepare young dancers by sharing my knowledge and tricks with them, and that gives me hope to have something to look forward to later. but i am not ready yet to make that be my only life. i crave the wisdom of an older choreographer, director and an experienced teacher; the sweat, the painfully sore muscles and still want that all for just me. whether selfish or not, i am not sure. walking in the rain and thinking about the past 20 years of the dancing life was very therapeutic. i still sometimes marvel - 20 years is a long time, but it surely goes by fast when your life is involved. how does a dancer retire? and does one ever? i don't know. i guess the time will tell ^^
^^ i attribute the success of my very long and rainy therapeutic walking session largely to these two little bugs. my lips are stretched in a smile this very moment as a look at this picture and type. i discovered my personal formula for life: kids = instant mood boosters. it works. ^^
^^ it really is some big decision when you have to decide between 5 very different parks. ( we hit all of them that day to make decision making easier ) ^^
^^ evyianne started smiling and cooing full that day. i am so glad we got the moment captured ^^
^^ a last minute ikea run before the arrival of a very important guest. how did we live before ikea ?! ^^
wishing you a great weekend with lot's of love from all of us!