Dec 8, 2008 at 11:49 pm we welcomed our beautiful Evangelina Margarita into this world, weighing 6lb 6 oz and 19 1/4 " tall. I had an AMAZING birth experience! I strongly believe, actually KNOW that preparation - emotional , spiritual and physical - equal in ALL areas is essential. It is essential for every aspect of life, but as we connect so close to Divine Power during birth, I believe that it is so important to be at peace and in harmony with everything. This is the way - as I see it - for our spirit to connect to God and Heavenly Mother more then ever as we are bringing one of Their sons or daughters into our world.
I am so ever grateful to Rachel, who helped me to learn so many new things. I am very grateful to Heavenly Father for leading me to her , and to everyone who was a part of the process. Thank you to all! The birth of my baby was so beautiful and so empowering, it brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. I wish sincerely for every woman to experience the same feelings that I have inside and have the birth that is right for them.
I started having contractions on Sunday. Nothing too-too regular, and since I already had at least 2 false alarms, I didn't even pay attention. I enjoyed the church, then the sweat lodge, wonderful food and conversation and didn't think twice about anything. Over night I kept dreaming about beautiful colors - never had that before - and woke up very invigorated, happy ( although not really looking forward to a VERY long day with my son's performance), and full of love. I felt so much LOVE for my husband - it is hard to explain. Later - when I was in labor - Rachel told me to snuggle with my husband , as the same energy of love that creates the baby, brings it here too. I immediately thought about morning. THAT is why it felt so different.
As we were getting ready to leave, I kept more and more realizing that my contractions are coming all the time , and regularly. I didn't time them yet, but started to realize that something is different now. I didn't want to get too excited though - the "what if false alarm" kept me pretty grounded. Then it started snowing . I ALWAYS imagined that I'd have this baby on the FIRST day it would snow in Dec! It was so cute when my almost 5 year old son saw the snow and said " Mommy, Christmas is coming! " and when I said that the baby would need to be born first, he came to me and said : Ok! Baby, can you come now?! We want Christmas! " Made me laugh, yet think too.
So, by around 11-30 I was pretty sure something was different. I called my midwife with a question , and then decided that , yes, it would be a good idea to give heads up to others ( she works with the partner and has an apprentice). And just as that quote that I posted a few weeks ago, once we commit, the universe provides. I felt complete assurance instantly that this is it.
By about 1 pm I met with my husband and he decided to time contractions. They were about 5 minutes apart. I realized that I am NOT going to my sons performance ( as I was helping backstage), Justin's sister was able to help ( THANK YOU!), and Justin and I headed home. The contractions were strong enough for me to be constantly reminded of them and for me to stop doing things, yet I felt that there would be a little bit before it would "hit". We wanted to have a homebirth. Lot's of people think that it is not safe, but that is not true. With good healthcare taker, good doctor/midwife you are in far better hands. After all - they all come to YOU only, and I am not even mentionion the "just in case " equipment that comes with them, all set and ready. Do your research - there is nothing like seeing it with your own eyes.
All through the labor Justin and I kept going in the awe :" This is AMAZING. SO much BETTER then the hospital! " As I had 2 hospital births, both inductions ( and at THAT time I thought that my hospital experience was not too bad. Until I started to learn to THINK for myself rather then follow what I was told ) I had a lot to compare to. Just being at home made my labor be so much easier. No monitors, no ties, no IVs, no shots - just me and my baby and my husband. Not for a second did I worry about my baby's well being. ( and i was going crazy following the monitors in the hospital ). Ability to be free to move - ahh, what a blessing! i felt the same intensity of contractions at 7-8 sm at home as I felt at 3-4 sm in the hospital. I will give credit to hypnobabies, but I didn't use them until the very end. There was just no need : being comfortable in my surroundings made a HUGE difference. Justin was all in the clouds . He would tell everyone who called him that he couldn't talk, because his wife was in labor :) : ) :) I love my husband. :)
So, we prepared everything : the bed, the towels and all the other stuff that you get in the hospital ( and that they literally charge you 1000 times MORE for, and you get it all for under $70 off the home birthing sites). I rested for a little , although by then it was rather uncomfortable. By 6: 45 I decided that I wanted Rachel here. I had 3 midwifes all to myself! :) How cool is that? You are lucky if you get 1 doctor through your labor - I don't think that ever happens though, unless the doctor is your family member.
To speed up things we went for a walk - sort of. The walk consisted of bout 50 feet and then me hanging on Justin thinking "open, open , open" and "peace" - my hypnobabies stuff - and me gradually getting lower and lower to the ground. Plus, the fact that I had to pee every 15 minutes didn't help either - we mostly walked up and down the hill on the nearest street. When finally, my "stops" became more like crawls on the ground, I figured it was about time to get back. Plus, the fact that it was freezing outside made "home" sound wonderful.
I didn't plan on waterbirth at all. I thought that I'd labor in water and deliver on the bed. But I didn't really have an objection to waterbirth either. I decided to go with the flow and see what my body would want. Through the whole labor I was kind of thinking that I would not even want to labor in the tub - I felt nice and comforted by what I had around. By the time I was 7-8 sm though, the thought of warm water was very appealing. Justin filled the tub, and once I got in, I felt SO MUCH pressure to just go away. I loved the feeling. The contractions were there , but they were not nearly as intense and I felt them on the "dry" ground. With the hypnobabies affirmations cd in my ears I even wondered if it was normal to feel so good. Don't get me wrong : I FELT the contractions, but I loved feeling them. Not to sound self-distractive or anything, but I welcomed every single one of them. I don't know , whether it was the fact of hypnobabies, or emotional work, or the fact that I never had the real labor before , or it is all the factors together( which is what i believe was the truth), but I loved my contractions.
There was a moment during the transition that it really was hard, but a huge part of it ( I think) was that I didn't have the urge to push : i just consciously pushed because I knew I needed to. I still can't understand why I didn't feel like pushing. I'll figure it out before the next one :) When the head crowned though, everything else became absolutely easy : no pain, no pushing , nothing - my body just did the work. I cannot express my feelings in words - there are no words - of how wonderful and AMAZING it feels to have your baby come, to feel the little head coming into this world, and then seeing it , taking the body into your OWN arms and bringing the baby to your chest. Every woman deserves and needs to feel this. Doctors truly rob us of this joy. The LOVE and CONNECTION that appears the moment you feel your baby is something that cannot be described.
I am so ever grateful to Rachel for re-creating the power within me. I went from being freaked out to move, to having complete confidence that in case we had to deliver the baby ourselves, we would be able to do that. ( Although I DID want her to be there :) And I am happy she was ) My little girl was born at 11;49 - just 10 minutes away from the new day! Interesting enough, that a few days before I wrote in my pregnancy journal that I planned on having the baby before or on, but not later then Dec 8, 08. Sure enough! The power of believe, thought, words and prayer is amazing.
I lost a little bit of blood after the delivery - the same reason I bled at the beginning too : the way my placenta formed and attached - and that is when I learned for myself, that had I NOT followed the inner feelings and continued with my "safe and proven " hospital program, I think neither I nor my baby would be here right now. Yeva ( short for Evangelina in Ukraine, and that is what we are calling our little girl ) had a very short cord that she HAD wrapped around her neck , and that UNWRAPPED within the last couple of weeks. If I went with the doctors, i would NEVER make it to these last "couple of weeks". The fact that the cord was short was also UNKNOWN. I was told that she had a VERY LONG cord according to the U/S. With this "100% accuracy" ( as my doctor AND perinatologist assured me) I would be INDUCED, which means that somewhere during the delivery either the cord would get much too tight for the baby to be able to get enough oxygen or the placenta would tear off earlier. Results of both are terrible enough for me not to want to write them. And then the fact of induction. Pitocin makes one bleed more and contract harder. In my situation that would be a straight path for transfusion in the best case scenario. None of this happened. THANK YOU, God and Rachel. To God - for inspiring me and showing me the right way. To Rachel - for being responsive to inspirations and acting on them. Through just 5 weeks that I had with Rachel, she taught me SO MUCH, and made me understand SO MUCH - things that may have sounded crazy to others. But the truth was that there was no time to be fooling around : I had 5 weeks to do everything that a regular person would have at least 8 months for. And it all paid off miraculously : a beautiful healthy baby, beautiful birth, and so much knowledge and realization. This is truly the best experience in my life. There is nothing that compares to it. Everything I learned, knew and loved came together at one moment. I felt complete and happy. And now I am on a new path of discovery of joy of natural and truly spiritual upbringing of my children, joyful living, true love and conscious conception.
PS : I am just realizing that the way I feel ( physically ) is AMAZING. My baby is barely over a day old, I would not even be home from the hospital yet. Comparing to the other 2 births , I feel like I can run a marathon. Yes, I am tired, yes, I feel that my body delivered a baby, BUT I feel great - just like you WOULD feel after running a marathon : tired, worn out, but GREAT. I am really looking forward to applying 100% of everything I learned and more for the next birth, and having another wonderful experience.