My sweet friend DeLynn had this entry in her blog that I discovered today after reading her comments. Amazingly, this entry is word for word, an entry of my heart. So, rather then re-writing, I am just posting her entry. Thank you, my dear DeLynn, for being who you are. Lot's of LOVE.
"Fear of speaking or hearing the truth is the biggest stumbling block we face in our desire to experience genuinely fulfilling, honest and loving relationships. When we hold something back, that something seperates us from the other person. If were not open to hearing the words of others without reacting or taking them personally, we have distanced ourselves from those individuals.
It's always easier to tell people what they want to hear. It's often more comfortable to agree with someone, even if we disagree in our hearts. And since it can be equally frightening to confront painful truths about our own selves, our friends and family may feel compelled to tell us only what we want to hear.
When you need to tell the truth, have the courage to open your heart as well as your mouth. And when you need to hear the truth, have the strenth to open your ears and close your mouth."
I was sent this by my Daily Kabbalah tune up. Its so funny because this is exactly what I have been learning about since February. Its been really scary to me to notice how much I don't speak my truth. It comes up in my throat and I swallow it down, either because I'm afraid of what the other person will think or will feel by what I have to say. I've learned that as long as my heart is soft when I speak my truth and I'm not trying to prove anything then it is not my responsibility what the other person thinks or feels. Because I've spent my whole life afraid, I have a long ways to go with this. I just keep a prayer in my heart that I can have the faith that I will say what needs to be said at the appropriate time and I will have forgiveness for myself and for others when this doesn't happen from the heart.
I love you All!!! xoxo
Isn't this amazingly powerful? How many times to we find ourselves stuffing our voices inside simply because we do not want to look odd, to hurt someone, or - most commonly - we are just scared. Scared who would think what, of that "judging thought", scared to not fit in, to be wrong, scared to hurt someone by disagreeing. I know I feel that way often. I know that others feel that way even more often. And so we end up living the very lonely world of very friendly people. The biggest lie, thought, that we tell ourselves is that "we do not want to hurt" someone else by disagreeing, or submitting to their thoughts, actions, desires. And so we hurt ourselves instead. And then others - consciously or subconsciously, because we are angry at ourselves and our powerlessness. And then there is a fact that maybe YOUR thought is the one that someone is desperately in need of to keep going , to keep living... There, yet again, a missing link of 'love' comes in. Speaking YOUR truth in LOVE is the key ingredient in the recipe of happiness and harmony. There is a difference between speaking YOUR TRUTH instead of forcing one's opinion or expecting everyone to submit to it. How wonderful it would be if each and every one of us voiced what we are REALLY thinking. I know it was a huge shift in my life. For the first time I truly connected to the most important people in my life and for the first time I realized how much THEY were keeping inside out of the same reasons I did... Tears of gratitude to my Saviour and happiness that were shed were enough to , probably, fill a huge tank. For the first time we are truly connected. Finally. Body, Mind AND SOUL. And it feels SO wonderful. Yet it is so scary. And sad. To realize that - if not made this step - we could go through the lifetime of being like a crayfish: living within our own little shell, and convincing that we are satisfied. Only to find later that we were not alone. What a sad thought to live with in the Eternity...